We are hard-wired to want validation from others. Scientists found that babies’ emotions are often drawn from the emotions of those around them. As we get older, relying on others for validation can be toxic and limiting. Doing what you know to be right, regardless of what other’s think, is a liberating experience. Here are some tips to separate yourself from the need of others’ validation.
- Accept that external validation is a bad habit. Whether its daily affirmations or a simple acceptance, you need to remind yourself that your opinion of yourself is the most important. Just like any bad habit, reliance on the opinion of others can be broken.
- Make a list of your convictions. Start with 10 things that are important to you when it comes to character.Having a list will give you an opportunity to consciously invoke those behaviors in place of doing things simply for external praise.
- Don’t react. The outcome of any encounter is determined by how you react to it. When you don’t react to someone’s opinion of you, it loses its power to influence you.
- Don’t take things personally. Be objective. IS the criticism valid? Is the criticism about a task or project rather than about you specifically? If it is about you, does it come from a place of jealousy? There are many reasons not to take a criticism personally. Once you accept that it isn’t all about you it is easier to take.
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